Hungry

Have you ever had a day where you were just really hungry? That's how I felt today. I wanted to eat everything in the house. After dinner, we went down to feed John's Dad's horses. They were hungry too. Mr. Blue was so hungry, I thought he was going to climb into our car.
That's through the front window of the car, before I could even get out. The silly horse doesn't even really know us (they just got him 3 weeks ago), but he sure knew it was dinner time!

The other new horse is Miss Ginger. I can't wait to ride her this fall! She's still adjusting to her new home, but I am hoping she and I will get along. She's a pretty big horse. Much larger than the one I had growing up.

John and Mary went into the barn to get the grain. Chico (the horse they got last fall) was in his stall waiting. (He's always starving too! and he's a really messy eater...half his grain falls on the floor in his attempt to eat as fast as possible) Mr. Blue decided to wait outside. Mr. Blue is tiny. John's Dad bought him for the kids to ride. I really hope Mary can learn to ride this fall.


I wish I had a good picture of Chico. He's the largest horse I've ever been around. I guess we just had tiny horses when I was a kid. Anyway, he's super friendly but a little intimidating. He's been living alone all spring and summer. I hope he's glad to have some new friends.

A few more days....

My doctor appointment went fine today. She wanted to induce me on Tuesday, but I flat out said no. I do go back on Tuesday for a Non-Stress Test. So, Firecracker is allowed to cook a few more days which I am very happy about. The doctor said I was the only full term pregnant patient she has that isn't begging for an induction! I told her the baby will come when he/she is ready.

So, John's Step-Mom is out of town tomorrow through Sunday, and his Mom is taking a day trip to Indy one day this weekend. Those are our two main sitters for Mary. I hope the baby either comes before the weekend or waits until Monday. Friday is my b-day, so that would be super cool with me!

We have to find something to do this weekend. I am so sick of sitting around, being large, and waiting for this baby to arrive. Maybe I'll hit up some yard sales. Mary is going to need fall/winter clothes soon.

Patience

I thought that the first 2.5 years of Mary's life had taught me patience. The months of colic, her not napping/sleeping well or through the night, her wanting to be attached to me 24 hours a day for the first year and a half of her life, and now the "why?" stage. There's nothing to do but take a deep breath and remind myself that this too shall pass.

Firecracker is taking my patience to a entire new level. First, it took us months to get pregnant. Then, the first 4 months of the pregnancy I had such bad sciatic nerve pain that I honestly just sat and cried sometimes. It felt like I was dying. It was worse than labor, and it hurt all the time. For the past 3 weeks I have been having contractions for several hours on most days. They started out as annoying and uncomfortable. Now they are painful. Yesterday they were every 3 minutes and got up to 30 to 45 seconds long for about 8 hours. And then I went to bed, and here I faced with another day of waiting, of sitting here with no energy to do anything. I thought yesterday was the day for sure. By the end of the day I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I was hoping I wouldn't have the baby last night. I know I didn't have enough energy to deliver a baby last night. And so, I wait.

Insomnia ramblings

Ah, here I sit at 2:20am. I got hot on the couch and got up to get a drink. Then I checked my email. Then I surfed. Now I am wide awake. It's pretty much the standard set up for me these days.

So, anyway, still here and still pregnant. If I count all the on again, off again contractions I've been having for the last 2.5 weeks I think I've officially been "laboring/in labor" for about 5 or 6 times longer than I was in labor with Mary. I never expected this. With Mary, my water broke and she was born about 7 hours later. Now it's not uncommon for me to have fairly strong, but short contractions for 5-6 hours straight every few days. But then I go to bed and wake up still pregnant. Heck, I'm more dilated now than I was when I went to the hospital when I had Mary. My hips hurt, the contractions hurt, I'm exhausted, I'm confused, and I am scared. The doctor wants to induce me probably Thursday. She might as well have told me she wants to do some sort of freaky shock therapy (not that she'd do that to a pregnant woman of course) on me. To be honest, I hate being pregnant. I didn't like it last time and I don't like it this time. But having Mary's birth go the way I wanted meant so much to me. I have waited nine months to have another natural birth. I am so worried that one medical intervention will lead to another. I don't want to be stuck in a hospital bed. I don't want to push on my back. I don't want drugs flowing through my body or the baby's body. And the worst part? I'm not even freaking due yet!!! I'm 4 days away from being "officially" due (which was determined by ultrasound, and is probably fairly accurate, but could be as much as a week off). And yet I have been up with this wonderful insomnia most nights for the past week hoping I'll go into labor. Even though it isn't time yet. Why can't babies just come when they are ready? Why do they have to come when they are "due"? If my health or my body were in jeopardy, or if there was any indication that the baby was in distress, of course I would use medical interventions to keep us both safe. But I feel fine (aside from being nine months pregnant). I'm not swollen and my blood pressure is fine. I'm a little tired, but who wouldn't be thanks to this insomnia? Having a natural birth just means so much to me and the thought of having it taken from me just really breaks my heart. I won't even get into the reasons I think induction is wrong. I'd end up writing a novel and not going back to bed tonight. And yet I am sure it isn't wrong for everyone. I don't really think it's right, but one thing I have learned about being a mother, and maybe even an adult is that you have to do things the way they work for you. I have some pretty strong beliefs about several parenting issues, but I have learned not to judge others for making different decisions than I would make. I just want to wait. I just want to give the baby a few more days or a week longer than the doctor wants to give him/her. I want it to be my body's decision, not some time table that has been put into place because of medical equipment or guidelines. I am so very, very lucky to be a healthy woman who has had two easy, event free pregnancies. I am lucky that I have carried two babies to term. I just want these last few days to be in peace. I dread Wednesday (my next doctor appointment) so much. I actually feel sick thinking about it. I just want things to happen when they are supposed to happen. But I guess that's too much to ask these days.

Me!

Yes, there I am, looking right into the sun as my picture was taken. I don't think this pic really shows how low the baby is. Probably because these shorts are under belly ones and almost to fall off at any moment of the day. Anyway, that's what I look like today 38 weeks, 5 days pregnant. I think I actually look a little better than the last pic I posted. I think I weigh the same and I was having swelling issues about a month ago. But the heat is back here in Indiana, so I am sure I'll be swelling up like a balloon in the next couple days.

Nothing to report. I go to the doctor late Thursday afternoon.

Thank you, Grandpa Dave!

Grandpa Dave (aka John's Dad) brought us some yummy food from his garden! He brought some last week too, but we ate it before I could get a picture.

Last night I made spaghetti with meat sauce. I cut up a couple green peppers and one tomato and cooked it with the meat. YUM! Mary loves to find the bites of food mixed in with whatever dish we are having and saying--"Oh!! This is from Grandpa!" She also ate probably half a tomato by herself yesterday.

Here's pair number 2 of longies. Pair 3 is just started. It takes forever to wind the yarn into a ball. I actually saw something on the internet that often Purewool comes all tangled up and is a pain to wind. Mine hasn't been too twisted, but it does seem to take longer than usual.

I don't usually knit as much on the weekend, so pair 3 probably won't be done until Monday night. I am not sure if I am going to make pair number 4 next. I think I might knit something else. Knitting the same pattern over and over gets boring quick.

Yesterday Mary and I went to Grandpa and Grandma's pool. It's right next door. We had so much fun. I was a little worried about taking her without John, but he was working. Mary is such a good listener. She was patient with me and knows I just can't move as fast as I used to. When we were done, John was actually walking down from our house. So he, Mary and Grandpa Dave went to look at the new horses that arrived last week. John said Dave was pretty surprised that Mary could already tell them apart (which is actually pretty easy--one is gray and the other is chestnut) and told them both the new horses names. Plus good old Chico, who has lived there for a year already. We tried to pet the new horses last weekend and I wanted to take a picture, but they were still really nervous with their new surroundings. Maybe I'll take the camera back today when we go swimming.

I am trying to take it easy this weekend. But I do have a decent amount of energy. John's got Mary outside "helping" rake some grass. I think I might do some housework.

No news is good news?

I went to the doctor this morning, and despite some decent contractions last night, I'm still at 2cm dilated. Everything else was fine. I am so glad we've had cool weather here (I think it's going to be 75 today)! I don't have any swelling this week. I go back next Thursday.

So, now I can knit! Although I guess I was thinking "boy" when I bought this yarn. Every pair is going to be mainly blue. Oh well, Mary looked great in blue, and I am sure this baby will too.

Speaking of Mary, she's been such a sweet girl lately. Her mind is growing and changing every day and it amazes me! Last night she was telling John that one toy fish had a dark purple fin and the other had a light purple fin. This morning she told me that her PJ pants had light green and dark green frogs. She can sing "Where is Thumbkin?" all by herself and do the little hand motions too. She loves to sing it about a million times a day.

One down, three to go!

That's the yarn on the lower left in the previous picture. These longies are so super soft! I am about a quarter way through the next pair. One of my friends bet I'd get 1.5 pair done, and another was thinking 2 pair. If I get to knit tonight, I'll have 1.5 pair....hmmmm.

I see the doctor in the morning. I'll update when I get a chance.

It's here!

Nope, not the baby! Hopefully that post will contain an actual name for the baby. If we decide on one before he/she is born. Actually, we have a girl name. It's just the boy name that hasn't been completely figured out.

Anyway, it's here! My custom Purewool I have been waiting on for almost a month! I got a great price on it, and it was custom dyed for me. As much as I love dyeing yarn, I know I won't have time to do it this fall.


The eight skeins on the left will make 4 pairs of longies. The variegated will be for the main body/legs and the solids will be for trim. The purple on the bottom right is for a Christmas gift for our gift exchange, the white is in case I do get a chance to dye, and the reddish pink is for me. I thought it would be more red, but it will still work for me.

So, which will come first--4 pairs of longies or the baby? I have the yarn for the first pair in center pull balls already, and I just swatched it up. So I am ready to cast on the first pair tonight. Hopefully knitting ever spare minute of my day will keep my mind off these crazy on again, off again contractions I've been having every other day.

still here, still pregnant

I went to the doctor yesterday. Everything looks good. I am still feeling pretty good too, which is amazing if you ask me. I am only very slightly swollen at the end of the day, and wake up most mornings with it all gone. The braxton hicks contractions I've been having are working, I am 2cm dilated! Progress! I had several strong contractions yesterday evening and last night, but this morning I feel fine. They were strong enough to wake me up last night, but I kept willing myself to sleep. I knew I had to have at least a couple hours sleep. Finally around 12:30am I was able to fall asleep and stay that way. I heard Mary say my name a couple times, but she must have fallen right back to sleep. John went to check on her once, but she ended up sleeping all night long by herself in her bed. Yippie!

The good news is that with all this excitement, I got my hospital bag completely packed. I got the baby's stuff packed too. In theory, I want to use cloth diapers in the hospital. So I packed those, plus some of the little woolies I made and some of the shirts I dyed. I set everything out in the bedroom so we wouldn't have to dig for it in the closet when the time comes. I got the "sewing room" taken down yet again. I mopped the kitchen floor. Today I want to clean up the guest room and put on fresh sheets. I want to get the co-sleeper set up. And clean both bathrooms. I guess what's left is a mix of things for when I'll be gone and we'll have guests here and just trying to stay on top of daily chores.

I really, really need to go to the grocery store in the morning. So hopefully the baby will stay put for another 24 hours.

Nine years in the making!

The most amazing thing happened today! My "Aunt Gertie Plant" bloomed! The real name for the plant is a Hoya. I've had this bad boy for nine years, and it has never bloomed. My great, great Aunt Gertie had a plant like this when I was a child. So when I saw this plant nine years ago, I bought it because it reminded me of her. Today I went to water the plant and was amazed to see the bloom. If you've never seen one, they almost look fake. The flowers look like plastic. It's so pretty though. Here's a pic of the entire plant. It's pretty big. It was tiny when I got it.
I read up on how to get it to bloom when I first got it, but I never had any luck. I wonder what I finally did right. Maybe it's that it lives in the kitchen and I actually remember to water it once in a while. Mom is going to be so excited when she sees these pictures!

I got a decent amount of stuff done today, vacuumed 5 rooms of the house, dusted, did laundry and put some away. Tomorrow Mary is spending the afternoon with Grandma, and I am going to run the last of my 'baby errands.' I don't need a lot, but want to look several places, and it's hard to get Mary in and out of the car several times. It just wears me out.

Back to making progress on the super long list I made yesterday afternoon. Not sure what I'll do with myself if I get it done.

Before and after

Before:


After (all the ones from the pic of them stacked up in the rocking chair, plus some turquoise blue and olive green ones):

For Mary......and a real surprise!

I am packing a little bag of gifts for Mary for the hospital. That way, when she comes to visit me, she'll have some new things and also will have something to do instead of just sit there. My friend Karen sent me this link last October on how to use a plastic grocery bag as a pattern to make a cloth bag. I was going to make one for Mary for her birthday back in January, but the first trimester was in full swing. So I never got to it. I dug up the link this weekend and made the bag out of some material in my stash. It was really simple! I want to make a few more to stick in my car for when I go shopping for small things. So far in the bag I have 2 books, a pad of construction paper and some stickers. I want to get an 8 pack of crayons and put some white paper in there too.


Yesterday John started to clean out our shed and is in the process of organizing it and the garage. This project has been on our to do list for a year since we moved here. The shed is great for junk, but it's all just thrown in there and really impossible to get to anything. He had almost everything out when he found a guest!

He said he wasn't sure if the skunk was dead or alive at first, but then it rolled over and looked at him like "I'm trying to sleep here!" So, he put the project on hold. It was still there in the evening, but was gone after dark. I looked this morning, and it wasn't there today. I wonder if the skunk lives in there. The shed is super old and the doors don't close very well, so we won't be able to keep it out if it does live there.

I'm down to the last few items on my to do list! I am washing the car seat cover today, and we are getting the co-sleeper back from John's Mom. She borrowed it while she kept Mary's cousin Lucas for a few days. The very last think I hope to get to is knit some longies. I have my schedule pretty clear if the yarn shows up on time. I ordered it through a co-op, and it was custom hand dyed in Uruguay. The lady who ordered it for us has it and is now sorting through 250 plus skeins of yarn. Once she packs it up and mails it, I'll be a knitting fool! Unless of course Firecracker shows up early. Only 25 days to go!