Blog posts in my mind

I spend time every day thinking about things I want to blog about, but by the end of the day, I'm too worn out to deal with it.

On May 6th, I wanted to write a post about how it had been 4 years since the day I got pregnant with Mary. Four years. Four years of being a Mom full time. Four years of either being pregnant, nursing, being pregnant AND nursing, and then nursing my two babies. A full time job. I wanted to write this beautiful post about how it's all changed me. But Ellie didn't go to bed until 9pm that night. And she's waking up probably 10 times a night right now (teething). And when she went to bed at 9pm, all I wanted to do was go to bed myself.

I could write an entire post about how dang tired I am. Really tired. Exhausted beyond exhausted. The same thing happened when Mary was teething. Up 10 times a night, sometimes more like 15-20. Ellie isn't nearly as bad about it. She doesn't cry all night, but she wakes up. And wants to nurse or wants her paci or wants me to hold her for a while. I feel like I don't sleep anymore. I feel like I get nothing done around the house. I'm too tired. All my energy is devoted to the girls during the day. Half the time, I'm pulling Ellie off Mary. Oh, Ellie loves to pull up on ANYTHING. Including Mary. Poor Mary. Or I'm fishing out tiny toys/old play-doh/dirt/old food out of Ellie's mouth. I must take 50 things a day out of her mouth. Who knows how much I miss. The other day I was doing a craft with Mary. I thought we were being really careful, gluing some buttons onto a picture frame. The next morning, I carefully opened up Ellie's poopie diaper and found.....a green button. Hmm. I saved it. It's going right in the baby book. I know that this phase will pass. Well, I hope it will. I think it will. I get NOTHING done around the house. By the time I get the kitchen cleaned up in the morning, Ellie's ready for a nap, then I need to cook lunch, then we go outside, then Ellie takes another nap. Then dinner. Mary goes to bed at 7-7:30 and Ellie's down at 8pm on a good night. And then I just want to go to bed. But I don't. I sit up looking at crafty blogs. I look at decorating blogs. I imagine the day when the girls are in school. Because NOTHING is getting done before that. I'm not complaining. Well, maybe a little. Mary's so smart and funny. I love hearing the next thing that is going to come out of her mouth. Today she helped me mulch the garden. She said "oh! Mom!" I thought something was wrong. "You know that good egg we had for breakfast? I want that again tomorrow." Huh? We're out mulching, it's 4pm, and she's thinking about breakfast. Okay.

Was I going somewhere with this post? Hmm. I'm tired. I think I already covered that though.

We've been working super hard outside. We got 2 "scoops" of mulch today, which completely filled the bed of John's truck. We got about half of it spread. Mary loves to help, and Ellie will sit and eat grass without needing too much supervision. I stopped every 5 minutes, and got the rocks/grass/tree bark out of her mouth and let her at it again. I'm hoping that I'll get some pictures in the morning of all our hard work. This is our 3rd summer here (moved here in June 2007) and I think it's pretty amazing how much we've done outside considering I was pregnant and miserable last summer and now we have 2 kids to entertain while we work. It's fun though. Really great. John and I both love living here so much. We love working outside too. Mary loves watching things grow and taking care of plants. She calls them her "buddies." The girls and I went to get our annual flowers and some potting soil yesterday and then planted them (I was in WAY over my head trying to watch a fussy 8 month old and an overtired 3 year old....WAY OVER). Mary said "oh, let's water these buddies! Let's help them grow!" Mary's been driving my absolutely crazy lately, but today we had a lot of fun while John watched Ellie. I think Mary and I are going to have a great summer taking care of our plants outside.

So that's it. A long, crazy post when I should be going to bed. Probably an incoherent post about nothing. Life I guess.