this week

This week I am home with the girls while John's away for work. He left Sunday afternoon and will be back after we are asleep Friday night. It's the first time I've been alone for an entire week since Ellie was born. The last time he was gone (for 3 days) Ellie was two months old and easier to deal with. Not that she's hard to deal with, but she's just more work now than she was then. Speaking of Ellie, she was 6 months old on Tuesday, and she's almost crawling!

Monday we took in the application for Mary's pre-school and went to the bank in the freezing cold. Tuesday? Heck, I don't remember Tuesday. It was a long day. Oh, we made banana bread. And I got to shower! Wednesday (oh! yesterday, seems like 5 years ago) Mary and Grandma Beth went to story time while Ellie and I stayed here. Today we went to the grocery store and no one cried. I count that as a victory. I usually have John go with us on the weekend, but since it wasn't bitterly cold today I figured we'd be fine. I hate getting the girls in and out of the car when it's cold. Mary was so good and such a help. I let her put stuff in the cart. She loved it. And, she put all the cold stuff away for me when we got home.

Mary's been sleeping with me this week. The few times in the past I've had to put her to bed and entertain Ellie too, I've done it in Mary's room/bed. Then in the middle of the night when she woke up I just carried her into my bed. But then I'd spend the next hour answering "why am I in here?" questions. So, I had John move the bed rail and Mary's sleeping in my bed all night. It's working out so much better. Mary's been falling asleep around 8pm and then Ellie and I go play for a bit, then she falls asleep on me while I watch TV or surf. Then I carry Ellie to bed, and there we all are. The last two nights I just stayed awake for a while, even though I was tired. Mary on my left side, sleeping soundly, and Ellie on my right, smashed up as close to me as she can get. And both nights the strangest and best feeling has come over me as I was falling asleep. Strange because I can't believe I am really their Mom. That I'm old enough, or wise enough or good enough for them. Yet it's the best feeling (probably because they are sleeping!!!!) because I am so lucky to be blessed with two healthy, smart, beautiful children. I'm going to be a little sad when John comes home and Mary goes back to her own room. I've missed sleeping with her since Ellie's been born. Although it will be nice to have room to stretch out:). Why on earth they both have to smash up on me until we are just a big sweating heap, I have no idea. Okay, I admit, I love that too. I love that they need me and like to be close to me. And I know they won't want to sleep with me forever. I'm enjoying it while I can.