No foolin'

Down 30.6 pounds since 10/12/09.

Project 33: fail

Yup, I'm giving myself a big fat FAIL on project 33. My birthday was a month ago. I gave up on the 100 push ups in April. We went on a trip and I couldn't get them in that week and I never went back to them. Ugh. And while I never set out to lose weight this year--I've gained 10 pound. Oh heck, maybe 15. So now instead of needing to lose those last 3 pounds of baby weight, I need to lose 18. Nothing fits. I went to Kohls for some stuff for the girls and tried on a pair of XL yoga type pants and they were too tight on my big fat tushie. In June, I told John I could lose 10 pounds faster than he could. I lost three.....and have gained 10ish since. Good times. I've tired to figure out why. Do I stress eat? Is late night eating a habit I can't seem to break? Yes. When I finally get the girls to bed at night, all I want to do is eat ice cream. And now that the weather is cooler I want baked goods. Pumpkin bread and brownies and banana bread. Now I have a huge zucchini that Grandma Mary gave me, and I will probably make that into bread as well. I love to cook. But then we eat it all in a day or two. Blah.

I didn't want this year to be about weight loss. So I guess I decided to gain instead. I am so mad at myself. I feel like crap. Nothing fits. I can't stand how I look. I feel bad about leaving the house. In June or July, I told myself I would get my rear in gear and that I wouldn't be the 'fat mom' at pre school. Guess that didn't motivate me either. Every trip, every event we've gone to this year, I've said "I am going to lose 10 pounds before X." But I don't. I'm so sick of it. But I feel like I don't know how to start. I mean, I do. Eat less and exercise. Well, the exercise equipment is buried under the stuff we took out of the basement storage area. So who knows when we'll see that again. Plus, it isn't like I was using it before we piled it up with junk. Plus, we are super busy working on the basement (on step 22 part c by the way.....scrubbing 45 years of dirt and grime off the floor with a tiny wire brush. It takes so much energy that the most either of us can do is about an hour at a time before our hands go numb) so there's no time to work out anyway. Excuses, excuses.

I did manage to knit one thing for myself this year. And I have kept my hair cut up which means I have to make myself find an hour or so for myself every 6 weeks or so. But besides that, I don't feel like I have accomplished anything for myself.

So now you know. I still have time, but I'm just not feeling like I have the energy or power to make things happen.

Project 33: the chop

This is the stylist's version of what she did to me. I'll never get it to lay that nice since I don't own a blow dryer or flat iron. Or styling products for that matter. I just washed it (which was totally freaky!!!) and am letting it air dry.

My neck and head feel funny.

busy, busy

I feel like we've been so busy the last couple weeks, yet I feel like I haven't done a darn thing. Ah, life. Last weekend we went to Ft. Wayne to John's Grandma's 85th birthday. Now Mary has a cold. And we are leaving Monday for a week in Evansville. I haven't really had time to knit. I've been super tired for some reason. Ugh.

But, I have a few pics. First, my shrug. So, I found this pattern on Ravelry. I loved how it looked, so I bought the yarn and took off. I noticed that a couple people noted it took more yarn than the pattern called for and also that the sleeves ended up shorter than they wanted. I knit the entire thing, and it was awful!!! Argh!!!! So, I thought about it. I figured I could take the general shape of the shrug and knit it more to my liking. I love the way it turned out!!!

Don't mind the funny look on my face. I was talking to Mary through the back door. She was freaking out because I wouldn't let her out with me. Oh, and don't mind the bags under my eyes. I plan on sleeping when I'm dead.

So, that was one part of Project 33--to make something for myself. I still have one more thing I want to make for myself out of some pretty yarn my friend Sarah sent me. Hopefully I'll get to it this summer. While I'm thinking about Project 33, I am still doing my push ups, though it is taking longer than 6 weeks. I'm cool with that. I continue to do more each week. When I started I could only do 7 push ups. Yesterday's workout I did the following sets: 20, 25, 20, 20, 29.

Next up, a skirtie for Ellie. This pic is of it wet, so the colors are a bit off. I still need to make a drawstring and it will be ready to go.





Ellie's asleep in my left arm, and I'm typing one handed so I think I better call this entry done.

Project 33: a challenge

So, I didn't want my resolution to be "I'm going to lose weight this year." I just had a baby (well, not "just" since she's five months old tomorrow) so I do have weight to lose, but I didn't want to focus on that. I want eating better and exercise to be my focus. But I didn't have anything specific in mind. Until Saturday. John told me about this program that can help a person do 100 pushups in 6 weeks. So, I looked it up (googled 100 pushups). I took the initial test Saturday. I did 7. Not too bad all things considered. So, that puts me in the second level of training. I start today, doing the program 3 times a week for 6 weeks. In theory, at the end of 6 weeks I should be able to do 100 consecutive pushups. Will I? Who knows. Only one way to find out! I assume it will take longer than 6 weeks (if I can't complete a workout, I'll have to do it over until I can), but I do want to try.

I'm also knitting something for myself! It's a wool/alpaca blend shrug with bell sleeves. I'm almost done with the first sleeve. I'm hoping to finish it in a week or so.

Argh, my coffee is cold. That's the only time I wish we had a microwave. (we had a built in at our old house, and didn't buy one when we moved as there isn't much counter space here.)

Blogs I read...and random updates

I updated the "Blogs I read" on the sidebar. Sadly, I probably read a lot more than that. I get sucked in reading crafting blogs and want to do every craft I see. Not that I have time to of course, but it is fun to be inspired. Hopefully over the next couple years we will start working on our house (a 1965 ranch, still mostly original) and so I've been looking at a lot of home decor crafts.

What else is new? Ellie not only learned to roll front to back this week, but she also figured out she can put several in a row! She only did it a couple times and has now forgotten about it I guess. She's really into her hands (looking at them) and her feet (putting them in her mouth when I try to change her diaper which is really fun!), and she can hold a toy with two hands at the same time.

Mary....gah.....Mary's 2 going on 12. Well, going on 3 really. Her birthday is in less than two weeks. Which on the one hand I am really excited about, and on the other I am totally dreading. I can't believe she will be 3! I want to stop the clock, and to let her be a baby a little longer. But just since Christmas she's grown up. I've noticed, John's noticed and even Mom commented on some recent pictures.

Project 33 is coming along, nothing too exciting to report yet. I did manage to workout several times (5?) this week. I used to be in REALLY good shape, oh, 4 or 5 years ago. I lifted weights probably 6 hours a week, and really watched what I ate. I got really into heavy lifting and I loved it. I am not ready to get back to that yet, but I do see it being a part of Project 33. For now, I just need to do some sort of exercise, which is about weight loss, but also about firming up this "Mommy body" AND really about having 20-30 mins to myself at the end of the day (well, the end of the work day...so far the best time to squeeze in a workout is when John comes home from work then I get to run upstairs all sweaty and still have dinner ready by 6pm). We have our workout equipment in the basement and I blast my i-pod over Mary's yelling upstairs. It's great "me" time and hopefully has some health benefits too.

I have some really good pics from this week, but they are on my other computer (yes, I have two that I actively use) and aren't uploaded to Flickr yet. But here are a few overdue from the holidays.

The third day of Christmas parties, and all pretty worn out:

Mary and her new bike!


Christmas morning:
(You can see Mary's gnomes in the background in their cradles John made. They came out great! Also, yes, that is a 20+ pound cat. His name is Stinky Simon)

I still take more pics of Mary than of Ellie. I need to get better about taking some of Ellie now that she doesn't just lay there like a lump anymore (a cute lump, but still a lump. Sorry, Ellie). I have some good ones from Friday. I'll try to upload them later.

Ugh, almost 11am and I haven't done a darn thing today! Mary and John aren't home and Ellie's sleeping on me. Guess I'll surf some more since putting her down would wake her up.

So, last night......

Mary was asleep by 7:45. John had agreed to hold Ellie while I did some crafting. He sat in front of the fire and read a book while I worked. We chatted and couldn't believe it was only 8:15 as I was wrapping up. Ellie woke up and I fed her. We came into the living room, and I was letting Ellie play on the floor without a diaper on for a while......I was watching Y&R and John was surfing......and the POWER WENT OUT!!! argh! I think we were both in shock. I think we both though we'd be in the dark for 4 days again. So John went to get a flash light while I tried to find a diaper that didn't require pins. I got Ellie diapered and John got his UPS shut down (backup power for his computers). We tried to call the power company but it was busy. We tried for 30 mins or so, and finally go through. But there was a recorded message saying they were aware of the outage and that all crews were working as quickly as possible. He did talk to an actual person to log our outage. But it wasn't looking good. We were sitting in front of the fire just planning how we'd handle the night without heat, and what we would do in the morning, etc.... and the power came on! I think we were in shock again. I think it was only out for an hour, but I hadn't done any of my evening stuff (aka, sit and surf without Mary climbing on me) so it seemed earlier. I ended up staying up way too late.

John asked me last night if I made any New Year's resolutions. I did. But it really isn't something I can put into words. It has to do with my b-day in August. It's sort of something that leads up to my b-day and then will change after my b-day. It isn't a secret, just something I can't put into words. It has to do with not having a baby, moving, or having another baby. Them John pointed out I was actually pregnant in 2005. I was focused on '06 when Mary was born. So I've been pregnant in part of the last 4 years. Over half of 2005, 25 days in 2006, 14 days of 2007, and over half of 2008. I guess part of my resolution is to have more me time, and to make myself more of a priority. Sort of a 'done having babies, not a new stay at home mom who doesn't bother getting dressed or combing her hair' thing. It is hard to put into words. Let's just call it "project 33" and I'll have to post updates as they happen.

Still making the same pair of longies. Not really excited about them. I've got another project going. Pics to come.