Yes, she's here!

For those of you that don't know, Miss Eleanor Ruth arrived Wednesday morning at 1:44am. I woke up to a contraction at 11pm, we called Grandma Cheri to stay with Mary at midnight, got to the hospital at 12:35am and she was born at 1:44am! Pics to come, I need to upload them. She was 7lbs 14 oz (almost a full pound less than Mary) and has beautiful strawberry blond hair. She's perfect and LOVES TO EAT. I don't remember Mary nursing this much in the beginning, but I'm cool with it. AND Mary came up and asked to nurse with Eleanor yesterday afternoon. I got them both up on my lap and we nursed together for a few minutes. It was wonderful.

I feel fine! It's amazing. I am so happy to not be pregnant anymore (although I had a 7lb 14 oz baby and have only lost 8 pounds....how the heck does that work).

Pics coming when I can upload them.

Hungry

Have you ever had a day where you were just really hungry? That's how I felt today. I wanted to eat everything in the house. After dinner, we went down to feed John's Dad's horses. They were hungry too. Mr. Blue was so hungry, I thought he was going to climb into our car.
That's through the front window of the car, before I could even get out. The silly horse doesn't even really know us (they just got him 3 weeks ago), but he sure knew it was dinner time!

The other new horse is Miss Ginger. I can't wait to ride her this fall! She's still adjusting to her new home, but I am hoping she and I will get along. She's a pretty big horse. Much larger than the one I had growing up.

John and Mary went into the barn to get the grain. Chico (the horse they got last fall) was in his stall waiting. (He's always starving too! and he's a really messy eater...half his grain falls on the floor in his attempt to eat as fast as possible) Mr. Blue decided to wait outside. Mr. Blue is tiny. John's Dad bought him for the kids to ride. I really hope Mary can learn to ride this fall.


I wish I had a good picture of Chico. He's the largest horse I've ever been around. I guess we just had tiny horses when I was a kid. Anyway, he's super friendly but a little intimidating. He's been living alone all spring and summer. I hope he's glad to have some new friends.

A few more days....

My doctor appointment went fine today. She wanted to induce me on Tuesday, but I flat out said no. I do go back on Tuesday for a Non-Stress Test. So, Firecracker is allowed to cook a few more days which I am very happy about. The doctor said I was the only full term pregnant patient she has that isn't begging for an induction! I told her the baby will come when he/she is ready.

So, John's Step-Mom is out of town tomorrow through Sunday, and his Mom is taking a day trip to Indy one day this weekend. Those are our two main sitters for Mary. I hope the baby either comes before the weekend or waits until Monday. Friday is my b-day, so that would be super cool with me!

We have to find something to do this weekend. I am so sick of sitting around, being large, and waiting for this baby to arrive. Maybe I'll hit up some yard sales. Mary is going to need fall/winter clothes soon.

Patience

I thought that the first 2.5 years of Mary's life had taught me patience. The months of colic, her not napping/sleeping well or through the night, her wanting to be attached to me 24 hours a day for the first year and a half of her life, and now the "why?" stage. There's nothing to do but take a deep breath and remind myself that this too shall pass.

Firecracker is taking my patience to a entire new level. First, it took us months to get pregnant. Then, the first 4 months of the pregnancy I had such bad sciatic nerve pain that I honestly just sat and cried sometimes. It felt like I was dying. It was worse than labor, and it hurt all the time. For the past 3 weeks I have been having contractions for several hours on most days. They started out as annoying and uncomfortable. Now they are painful. Yesterday they were every 3 minutes and got up to 30 to 45 seconds long for about 8 hours. And then I went to bed, and here I faced with another day of waiting, of sitting here with no energy to do anything. I thought yesterday was the day for sure. By the end of the day I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I was hoping I wouldn't have the baby last night. I know I didn't have enough energy to deliver a baby last night. And so, I wait.

Insomnia ramblings

Ah, here I sit at 2:20am. I got hot on the couch and got up to get a drink. Then I checked my email. Then I surfed. Now I am wide awake. It's pretty much the standard set up for me these days.

So, anyway, still here and still pregnant. If I count all the on again, off again contractions I've been having for the last 2.5 weeks I think I've officially been "laboring/in labor" for about 5 or 6 times longer than I was in labor with Mary. I never expected this. With Mary, my water broke and she was born about 7 hours later. Now it's not uncommon for me to have fairly strong, but short contractions for 5-6 hours straight every few days. But then I go to bed and wake up still pregnant. Heck, I'm more dilated now than I was when I went to the hospital when I had Mary. My hips hurt, the contractions hurt, I'm exhausted, I'm confused, and I am scared. The doctor wants to induce me probably Thursday. She might as well have told me she wants to do some sort of freaky shock therapy (not that she'd do that to a pregnant woman of course) on me. To be honest, I hate being pregnant. I didn't like it last time and I don't like it this time. But having Mary's birth go the way I wanted meant so much to me. I have waited nine months to have another natural birth. I am so worried that one medical intervention will lead to another. I don't want to be stuck in a hospital bed. I don't want to push on my back. I don't want drugs flowing through my body or the baby's body. And the worst part? I'm not even freaking due yet!!! I'm 4 days away from being "officially" due (which was determined by ultrasound, and is probably fairly accurate, but could be as much as a week off). And yet I have been up with this wonderful insomnia most nights for the past week hoping I'll go into labor. Even though it isn't time yet. Why can't babies just come when they are ready? Why do they have to come when they are "due"? If my health or my body were in jeopardy, or if there was any indication that the baby was in distress, of course I would use medical interventions to keep us both safe. But I feel fine (aside from being nine months pregnant). I'm not swollen and my blood pressure is fine. I'm a little tired, but who wouldn't be thanks to this insomnia? Having a natural birth just means so much to me and the thought of having it taken from me just really breaks my heart. I won't even get into the reasons I think induction is wrong. I'd end up writing a novel and not going back to bed tonight. And yet I am sure it isn't wrong for everyone. I don't really think it's right, but one thing I have learned about being a mother, and maybe even an adult is that you have to do things the way they work for you. I have some pretty strong beliefs about several parenting issues, but I have learned not to judge others for making different decisions than I would make. I just want to wait. I just want to give the baby a few more days or a week longer than the doctor wants to give him/her. I want it to be my body's decision, not some time table that has been put into place because of medical equipment or guidelines. I am so very, very lucky to be a healthy woman who has had two easy, event free pregnancies. I am lucky that I have carried two babies to term. I just want these last few days to be in peace. I dread Wednesday (my next doctor appointment) so much. I actually feel sick thinking about it. I just want things to happen when they are supposed to happen. But I guess that's too much to ask these days.

Me!

Yes, there I am, looking right into the sun as my picture was taken. I don't think this pic really shows how low the baby is. Probably because these shorts are under belly ones and almost to fall off at any moment of the day. Anyway, that's what I look like today 38 weeks, 5 days pregnant. I think I actually look a little better than the last pic I posted. I think I weigh the same and I was having swelling issues about a month ago. But the heat is back here in Indiana, so I am sure I'll be swelling up like a balloon in the next couple days.

Nothing to report. I go to the doctor late Thursday afternoon.

Thank you, Grandpa Dave!

Grandpa Dave (aka John's Dad) brought us some yummy food from his garden! He brought some last week too, but we ate it before I could get a picture.

Last night I made spaghetti with meat sauce. I cut up a couple green peppers and one tomato and cooked it with the meat. YUM! Mary loves to find the bites of food mixed in with whatever dish we are having and saying--"Oh!! This is from Grandpa!" She also ate probably half a tomato by herself yesterday.

Here's pair number 2 of longies. Pair 3 is just started. It takes forever to wind the yarn into a ball. I actually saw something on the internet that often Purewool comes all tangled up and is a pain to wind. Mine hasn't been too twisted, but it does seem to take longer than usual.

I don't usually knit as much on the weekend, so pair 3 probably won't be done until Monday night. I am not sure if I am going to make pair number 4 next. I think I might knit something else. Knitting the same pattern over and over gets boring quick.

Yesterday Mary and I went to Grandpa and Grandma's pool. It's right next door. We had so much fun. I was a little worried about taking her without John, but he was working. Mary is such a good listener. She was patient with me and knows I just can't move as fast as I used to. When we were done, John was actually walking down from our house. So he, Mary and Grandpa Dave went to look at the new horses that arrived last week. John said Dave was pretty surprised that Mary could already tell them apart (which is actually pretty easy--one is gray and the other is chestnut) and told them both the new horses names. Plus good old Chico, who has lived there for a year already. We tried to pet the new horses last weekend and I wanted to take a picture, but they were still really nervous with their new surroundings. Maybe I'll take the camera back today when we go swimming.

I am trying to take it easy this weekend. But I do have a decent amount of energy. John's got Mary outside "helping" rake some grass. I think I might do some housework.